Beliefs are thoughts we accept as true. Our beliefs are stored in the area of the subconscious, and become the source of how we relate to ourselves and the outside world.

Seventy percent of our beliefs are formed by the age of six; another twenty-four percent are formed by adolescence. As a result, most of us are unaware of our beliefs and how they impact our behaviors. If we believe we are unworthy, our behaviors demonstrate unworthiness.

If you ask someone what their beliefs are, most likely they will hesitate before they respond. We all know we have beliefs, we just aren’t aware what they are and how they determine our choices and the way we relate to others.

We can learn about our beliefs by observing our current behaviors. Behaviors are one of the ways beliefs demonstrate what we believe. For example, there was a time when I was judging myself because I had experienced a series of four relationships with four different women in a row that didn’t work out. Each woman had a similar body structure. As I explored my beliefs inwardly I discovered I associated this particular body structure with having a successful relationship. It was clearly an error in approach, and a belief that was no longer working for me.

This experience lead me to explore inside of me what I really wanted in a relationship, what qualities did I have to give, and what could I do to become more nurturing and loving… all aspects I wanted to have in a relationship.

Knowing more clearly what qualities I was looking for in a relationship: my best friend, great communication and bonding on physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels, I began to create relationships that more closely matched my intentions for a fulfilling relationship.

Another important lesson I learned from this is in order to change a belief you have to first identify it and then upgrade it into your current life. We do this through self-forgiveness, acceptance and by replacing ineffective beliefs with beliefs or experiences that are in line with our intentions.

Our beliefs shape all of our relationships: with ourselves, with God, our spouses and loved ones, our bosses and coworkers, as well as our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. Changing the beliefs created when we were young and updating them to more closely match our current intention for our life, gives us an experience of more closely aligning with our True Self.

The idea of Self-Forgiveness seems to be contrary to common thought. Does it send you spiraling into guilt, anger, self-judgment and low self esteem? If you accept the belief we are made to the image and likeness of God, each of us has a Soul, and consider your lives from that point of view then the idea of Self-Forgiveness seems more embracing.

You are a creative being and can create positively or negatively. When you create negatively you enter into the realm of judgments and separation. It is the process of Self-Forgiveness you return to your heritage with God.

Self-Forgiveness can be as simple as saying “I forgive myself.” Then observe yourself. Has your body moved, are you calmer, do you feel “lighter” or are you getting chills. These all may be indications that something is moving or transforming inside of you. Be gentle with yourself. Try different ways of saying I forgive myself. Ask God to take the judgment away: “Father please release this from me”.

Asking God to assist you is not only a form of prayer; it is an act of responsibility. You are saying: “Father, this is bigger than me and I know You can help/assist me”. It is taking responsibility for your actions.

The result of judgment is separation. Once our consciousness forms a judgment you have forgotten that we are all one, we are all connected, we are all God. This is the purpose for Self-Forgiveness: to bring us back to the awareness of who we are.

You can try to eliminate all judgment, and it is very difficult. Judgments seem to be part of the human condition. You can work inwardly to replace the process of judging with acceptance and that will alleviate some of the judgments. You can be more aware of your judgments and use the judgments as indicators to remind yourself of who you are.

It is important to be gentle with yourself. There is no one rewarding you for being hard on yourself. Unconditional loving is always available if you turn to it and request it. Self Forgiveness leads to this unconditional loving, to reuniting with your True Self.

Relax. All is well in God’s world.

Karl Fleddermann, DSS

All of us have been angry at some point in our life.

How did we get angry, where did it come from, it does have a source, how can we shorten the time we are angry and how can we resolve our anger are all questions that will be addressed.

The first belief I am asking you to consider is “Everything in your life you either, create, promote or allow.”

We will talk more about beliefs later, for now I am asking you to accept this belief.

Primarily, anger is a control issue.

When we get angry at somebody else, first and foremost we are attempting to control them.

Usually, we want them to do something our way, and they do not want to, so we “amp up” our voice and/or our emotional intensity in an attempt to get them to do it our way, to control them.

If you look at a recent time in your life you were angry and you use this perspective that you were trying to control them, you may see what I mean. You may also look at it as a time when you wanted someone to do something your way and they refused and that was a trigger for you to get angry. Find an example of a time in your life you were angry at someone you say you loved or were emotionally or sexually involved with and honestly look at it from the view point that you were trying to control them and see if that is your experience.

If you were not able to find an example in your life where you see that anger for you was a control issue or if you are unwilling to accept that everything in your life you either create, promote or allow then our time together is over. Please go on to something else because what follows does not apply to you at this time.

If on the other hand you are willing to accept responsibility for your anger and realize that at some level you either  created, promoted or allowed this anger to manifest then read on to discover how you can resolve your anger and shorten the time you are angry.